As most of you may know, once you awaken the sugar beast it is difficult to put him back to sleep. You can’t hear it, but I just whimpered. Twice. Lately I’ve been eyeing up the candy perfectly illuminated in the check out lines. It glows like God has descended from heaven, I swear…
Even now as I type this I find my mouth full of excess water just thinking about the sugary treats. The thing with refined sugar is when you evict it from your life, it’s a terrible two weeks or so. You may be cranky, irritable, whiny, moody, contentious, angry at the world, and/or resentful, walking around with a chip on your shoulder for those first two weeks without sugar or chocolate.
BUT THEN. Then somehow magically you stop thinking about it so much. The desire evaporates into the air. You begin to actually taste things and not pine for it as you once did. This beautiful little recipe right here? This was the brainchild of me trying to ease myself off the commercial chocolate chariot to unhappiness. This is perfection.
In other news, I’ve begun the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred DVD. I am forcing my husband to do it with me and I insist on calling him my accountability partner. I think it’s working because after snoozing my alarm twice this morning I wake up to a very intense and manly voice asking “ARE YOU READY TO SHRED?!!!” Exactly what I needed.
Dudes, that sh*t (my mom asked me to watch my language) is hard! I had trouble breathing, chugged water, and couldn’t use weights for some of the shoulder exercises. I should totally take before and after pics because who doesn’t love a good transformation pic. Also, this is the perfect excuse to buy all new workout clothes. Does anyone have any other favorite workout DVDs? I also love Michelle Khai’s Kettlenetics workout. Anyway, let me know in the comments below.
So this bark is amazing. I don’t know if this is a sign of old age, but I have begun liking dark chocolate. I think I like that I can eat less, savoring each piece in my mouth and the flavor stays with me whereas milk chocolate I just end up chowing through a million pieces. This bark is dark baby!!
Plus it’s kind of jammed packed with anything you could ever want. If you have a sweet tooth of any sort, or find yourself sitting at your work desk at 3pm scrounging through your desk to find something to get you through the rest of the day, or need that sweet ending to a perfect night, or are otherwise a breathing human being, you need to make this bark. Like now. Bring this computer into the kitchen and make it. You’re welcome.
Here’s what you do:
Melt the coconut oil and mix in the cocoa and sweetener. 
Line the pan you are using with plastic wrap or parchment paper. I actually liked the plastic wrap and found it easier because it clung to the dish as opposed to parchment paper that you really need to mold to the dish. The dish I used is an 8×8 casserole dish.
Pour the mixture into the dish.
Sprinkle the toasted pepitas, coffee beans, and toasted coconut. Then add the sea salt on top.
Place flat in freezer for about 1 hour.
When it comes out, lift the plastic wrap from the dish and peel off the plastic. You may need to warm the bottom of the dish with some warm water for 30 seconds or so before attempting to pull it out.
Place the bark on a cutting board and gently slice into it. I made about 10-12 pieces. Don’t worry if the pieces aren’t perfect, that’s just the character of the bark.
Store in fridge or freezer and enjoy!! 
Recipe
Chocolate Coffee Bean Bark
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/2 cup cocoa
- 4 tablespoons agave nectar
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
- 2 tablespoons coffee beans (or espresso if you have them)
- 2 tablespoons pepitas, toasted
- 2 tablespoons unsweetened coconut flakes, toasted
- 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
Instructions
- Mix the coconut oil, cocoa, agave nectar, and vanilla together.
- Line dish with plastic wrap.
- Pour chocolate mixture into the dish. I used an 8×8 casserole dish.
- Sprinkle chocolate with pepitas, coffee beans, and coconut.
- Sprinkle with sea salt.
- Place on a flat surface in the freezer for an hour.
- Remove from freezer.
- You may need to warm the back of the casserole dish by running it under warm water for 30 seconds or so.
- Using the plastic wrap, pull it out of the dish and peel back the plastic.
- Place on cutting board and use a knife to cut into 10-12 pieces.
- Store in fridge or freezer.
Tips
- Per serving: Calories 290; Fat 23.7g (Sat 20.5g); Protein 2.6g; Carb 19.3g (net carb 15.6g); Fiber 3.7g; Sodium 68mg
- If you want it to be really dark, use less sweetener.
Nutrition Info:
- Serving Size: 6
Guys, I need to make this over and over again in a million different versions. Let me know how it goes for you if you make it!! xo
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